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Wednesday, January 4, 2017

How to dismantel an antique iron sewing machine base for utilization of parts for other projects in only 10.5 hours

As a wife, mother, business owner, and daughter, simple projects can quickly become overwhelming and drag on for days with the help of my four legged fury assistants. Feelings of defeat and frustration can be added to by Pinterest posts, blogs, and tv spots that show how "quick and easy" the process is for anyone to tackle without fail. This is real life account of a mundane project that should have only taken 2 hrs that spiralled into an all day an exhausting event to show how even seasoned "Do It Yourselfer's" and "Work from Homer's" struggle to maintain balance between work and home...

•Drag sewing machine base by yourself into house after dropping kid off at school
•Look for drill
•Look for flat head bit
•Trip over the dog that laid down behind you to take nap in those 2 minutes
•Realize drill battery is dead and put battery on charger- wait 45 min find charger was unplugged by cat playing with cord
•Drink cup of coffee
•Move the dog and the cat napping on couch so you can fold laundry and wait for battery to charge
•Spontaneously yell at cat every 5 -7 min to stay away from charger
•Once drill is ready- begin removing screws
•Break flat head drill bit on 2nd screw
•Trip over the dog
•Go look for more flat head bits- tear through entire house, tool boxes and cars give up hope and get dressed to go to hardware store
•Put folded laundry in son's room before leaving- find flat head and several paddle bits in hands of Lego people carefully arranged in some sort of epic battle
•Drink a cup of coffee
•Remove cat sitting on sewing table base
•Remove 10 more screws while ensuring that bit will slip out of screw head and stab into other hand or leg
•Go look for bandaids- find only Disney themed bandaids
•Remove cat from sewing machine base
•Remove 5 more screws and break one more bit
•Remove cat from inside of tool bag
•Look for pliers and crescent wrench to remove 5 bolts
•Discover bolts are fused in place by rust
•Get frustrated go to look for hammer- trip over the dog that has laid down behind you
•Call husband and ask where hammer is knowing he has no recollect of the whereabouts of anything that has ever been inside house and couldn't tell you where the gallon of milk was in the fridge much less a hammer.
•Find hammer on porch next to project that husband did the day before
•Remove cat from sewing machine base
•Strategically move sewing machine base so wrench is balanced on bolt and hit with hammer
•Inhale dust cloud coming off sewing base and cough uncontrollably
•Drop wrench on cat head while trying to place back on bolt
•Stand proudly before the five bolts that have been removed see only 4 - cat just knocked one under fridge
•Carefully attempt to separate pieces of base by whacking the crap out of it with hammer while cussing, swearing, and coughing
•Let dog back in house from porch

•Stop all work go to school and sit in line for 45 min to pick kid up (perfect time to check emails and make important phone calls)
•Answer call from husband who suddenly remembered location of hammer

3 pm
•Make a snack for son
•Make a drink for son
•Drink cup of coffee
•Give the dog a treat
•Clean up snack mess
•Argue with son about the length of time he can play with ipad
•Sit on couch and almost fall asleep before being jolted alert by yelling that iPad is not connecting to WiFi
•Argue with 7 year old turned communications and data networking expert about the difference WiFi connectivity and having too many apps open while trying to stream a video causing ipad to freeze.
•Remove cat from sewing machine base
•Continue whacking base with hammer until feeling of hopelessness then sit and stare at base while coughing
•Remove cat from tool bag
•Answer call from mom while coughing, tell mom you did not inhale a deadly mold spore as she has suggested as the reason for cough
•Drink cup of coffee
•Remove screw you missed
•Get ice for finger that was smashed during the collapse of all the pieces after removal of last screw
•Look at 10 messages mom just sent with links to sites about signs and symptoms and horrid deaths caused by inhaling deadly mold spores
•Question yourself about why you thought this project was a good idea
•Explain and apologize for why you "destroyed the Lego creation and stole all their weapons"
•Help son back up after he trips over the dog
•Listen to son narrorate the dimise of lego men that inhaled deadly mold spores in his room
•Message mom back to say that you did not inhale a deadly mold spore
5:30 pm
•Feel slightly accomplished about getting sewing machine base apart
•Move cat off couch
•Sit on couch and cough and nurse wounds - wonder if maybe you did inhale a deadly mold spore for 15 minutes until husband arrives and asks about the mess of piled sewing machine base parts and is that all I did today
•Laugh when husband trips over the dog

•Clean up pile of metal parts and put in garage...

In just few simple steps, your sewing machine table base will be separated into pieces for several future projects...

 I did not get the dishes done, laundry finished, the carpet vacuumed and we had take out for dinner. I didn't even produce a final product that could be sold. 
The dictionary defines productivity as: the quality, state, or fact of being able to generate, create, enhance, or bring forth goods and services. So even though I sit there bruised, beaten, sore and exhausted after a very long day, it can be  perceived as I was unproductive because it resulted with out a final product output dispite by my efforts that could be observed by others. So for 2017 my resolution will be to not restrict my measurement of success by daily increments of output, but feel successful for the work input.

Wishing you all the best and a
Happy New Year!